Arrr! Trump be callin' forth the Alien Enemies Law, tossin' Venezuelans overboard like scallywags in a storm!
2025-03-15
Arrr matey! The captain's decree be clear as the sea! Any scallywags, aged 14 or more, from the Tren de Aragua crew, be fair game fer capture, hogtie, and sendin’ back to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, it’s a right jolly good time to be a pirate!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a jolly tale from the land where the sun be hotter than a cannonball, Venezuela! Thar be an order from the high seas of law, declarin’ that any scallywag aged 14 or more, belongin’ to the notorious Tren de Aragua gang, be fair game fer capture! Aye, ye heard it right!This be no ordinary announcement, mateys! It be sayin’ that these landlubbers can be “apprehended, restrained, secured, and removed”—as if they be a ship’s cargo gone rogue! I reckon the powers that be be likin’ their pirates well-contained, lest they cause a ruckus on the high seas or in the salty taverns.
Imagine the scene, if ye will: a band of ruffians, thinkin’ they be the kings o’ the ocean, only to be caught in the net of the law like a fish too foolish to escape! And at the ripe age of 14, no less! Blimey, what be comin’ to the youth of today? In a world where even pirates gotta follow the rules, it seems no one be safe from the long arm of the law, not even the most dastardly crew!
So, hoist yer tankards high, me mateys, fer the seas be churnin’ with such merry chaos, and may the wind favor the bold—and perhaps a wee bit of humor!