Arrr! A Michigan judge be tellin' th' scallywags t' wash boats, but his captain squashed th' whole notion!
2025-03-16
Arrr! A landlubber judge in Michigan fancied makin’ thievin’ scallywags wash carriages for their misdeeds, but alas! A crusty old sea dog in a wig tossed that plan overboard! Now, they be scrubbin’ nothin’ but the deck of shame, savvy?
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a judge from the fine land o’ Michigan, where a crafty plan was hatched to turn thieving scallywags into car-washin' buccaneers! This Judge Clothier, a fresh face on the bench, thought it wise to have a horde of Walmart shoplifters scrub the decks—er, I mean, wash the cars—of good townsfolk for their misdeeds!Yarr, his idea of "Walmart Washes" caught the fancy of the store’s managers and even the powers that be in Arkansas. But alas, old Chief Judge Crawford II, a stern captain of legal seas, squashed the notion quicker than a cannonball through a bilge! He declared that such swashbuckling punishments needed the approval of higher-ups, and thus, no car washes would take place.
Clothier, undaunted by the winds of disapproval, vowed to find more outlandish forms of punishment for those pesky shoplifters. "I don’t think everyone who steals be a villain," he mused, but consequences be consequences, savvy? With over a hundred thefts in the last month, he still aims to keep the seas of justice clean, even if it means sailing a different course!