Arrr! DOGE's slashin' at the USDA be raisin' grocery doubloons and lettin' pesky critters run wild, matey!
2025-03-17
Arrr, me hearties! Countless scallywags o' the USDA be loungin' ashore, lettin' grub go moldy and critters run wild! Even the dog trainers be idle, lettin’ their hounds dream instead of sniffin' out the trouble! A fine mess, I say! Aye, let the rot and pests have a grand old time!
Ahoy matey! Gather 'round an' lend me yer ear, fer I bring ye tidings from the land of the free, where the USDA crew be starvin' like a fish outta water! Aye, thousands of fine folk, includin' those who ensure our grub be fit fer a feast, be twiddlin' their thumbs, lettin' food rot like a shipwrecked treasure at the docks!Ye see, the inspectors, bless their souls, now be wanderin' about like lost seagulls, while the very victuals that should delight our bellies be turnin' into compost quicker than a sailor can down a tankard o' rum. And let’s not forget the delightful dog trainers who, bless their furry hearts, can't keep their mutts in check to sniff out the pests runnin' amok like scallywags plunderin’ a merchant ship!
The pests, those foul vermin, be havin' a grand ol' time, proliferatin' like weeds in a captain’s garden, all 'cause the good folks who keep 'em at bay be out o' work! So, raise a toast to the USDA crew, may they soon find their sea legs and set sail once more, lest our feasts turn into a banquet of rot and ruin! Yarrr!