Arrr, matey! VA Sec be swattin’ away false tales, standin’ tall for DOGE, and launchin’ another healer’s lair!
2025-03-17
Arrr! Captain Doug Collins, that swashbucklin' Secretary of Veterans Affairs, be settin' the record straight, sayin' them scallywags critiquin' the crew's budget be all washed up! He be pointin' to a shiny new treasure chest o' a facility in Virginia! Avast, the doubters be walkin' the plank!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend me yer good ear, fer I bring ye news from the briny deep o' politics! Doug Collins, the Sea Captain of the Veterans Affairs ship, be takin' a swing at the scurvy critics spreadin' tales o' "fake news" about the Trump crew’s budget cuts, claimin’ they be sinkin’ our brave veterans’ care! This sea dog, still servin’ in the Air Force Reserves, be strikin’ back with a mighty announcement: He be openin’ a fourth shiny new VA clinic faster than ye can say “shiver me timbers!”"Don’t ye believe the bilge water!" he hollers, while brandishin’ trifles of new establishments from Montana to New York City. Meanwhile, some landlubbers worry that cuttin’ 15% of the VA’s crew will leave our veterans high and dry, but Collins insists the service quality be as sturdy as a ship’s hull. "We’re just makin’ sure the treasure of care goes to the right hands!" he quips, as he fends off the howlin’ winds of criticism.
As the debate rages hotter than a cannonball in summer, Collins be callin' out those who be yellin’ “don’t do anything!” while he be swabbin’ the deck of inefficiency. So hoist the sails, me hearties! The battle for veteran care be far from over, and the seas be choppy as ever!