The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A landlubber school board be beggin' the Trump crew to hoist their sails on gender policy! Hilarrr!

2025-03-17

Arrr, the Mead School Board be callin’ upon the federal lads fer a word! They be feelin' the heat to play nice with them state rules ‘bout gender, and they be needin’ a proper compass to steer their ship o' compliance! Avast, what a hullabaloo!

Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather round to hear the tale of a conservative crew known as the Mead School Board in the fair state of Washington. These landlubbers be in quite the pickle, seekin' assistance from the mighty Trump administration after bein' pressured to follow the state's law on gender inclusivity. The board be claimin' that the state's model policy be clashin' with federal orders, leavin' 'em in a tempestuous storm of legal troubles.

Their letters to the Departments of Education and Justice be filled with woe, as they argue that followin' the state’s rule might sink their federal funding ship, while refusin' could lead to financial penalties sharper than a cutlass! The good folk of Mead be expressin' their discontent, particularly against the notion of keepin' parents in the dark about their wee ones’ identities. “We be a red ship in a blue sea!” exclaimed Captain Michael Cannon, the board’s leader.

They’ve been cast into the crossfire of a culture war, tryin’ to navigate between their loyalties to parents and the state’s demands. The Office of the Superintendent be standin' firm, claimin' their laws abide by federal statutes. With a battle for the hearts of over 10,000 students at stake, the board be callin’ for guidance from the federal seas to keep their educational ship afloat. Avast, what a ruckus!

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