Arrr! Trump be settin' sail, handin' the FAA's wheel to Captain Bedford, while creatin' new crew for the military's school o' swabs!
2025-03-17
Arrr, me hearties! Bryan Bedford, cap'n o' the skies from Republic Airways, be summoned by the great Trump to steer the ship of the FAA! Mayhaps he'll keep the birds flyin' straight and the crew from landin' in Davy Jones' locker! Avast, let the skies be merry!
Arrr, mateys! Gather ’round as I spin ye a yarn from the high seas of politics! Our esteemed Captain of the ship, President Donald Trump, has summoned an airline swashbuckler by the name of Bryan Bedford to take the helm of the Federal Aviation Administration, or FAA fer short! This crafty captain has been plundering the skies as the CEO of Republic Airways since the year o' 2007!In a grand proclamation upon Truth Social, the Captain expressed his joy, stating that Bedford be a seasoned sailor with over thirty years o’ experience in both aviation and executive shenanigans. But beware! This fine lad must first set sail through the treacherous waters of the Senate’s approval before embarking on his FAA adventure!
Now, ol’ Trumpy be not just settlin’ for mere air travel; he be intent on reformin’ the whole darn agency, workin’ alongside the esteemed Secretary o' Transportation, Sean Duffy! The winds be favorin' them as they strive to keep a billion landlubbers safe during their annual sky voyages.
But hark! The seas have been rough lately, with a few mishaps causin' quite the ruckus, including a dreadful crash in a retirement cove! So the Captain declared that only the sharpest and most cunning minds shall guide our precious aircraft, lest they meet the same fate as Davy Jones’ locker!
And thus, as the day draws to a close, Trump also be appointin’ brave souls to military academies, givin' them hearty congratulations. So hoist yer sails and prepare for adventure, for Liberation Day be comin', and we shall reclaim what be rightly ours from the clutches of those ne’er-do-wells who’ve sailed us astray!