"Arrr! Dan Bongino be sworn in as the FBI's first mate! A storm brews for our fine nation, mateys!"
2025-03-18
Avast! Dan Bongino, a swashbucklin’ conservative, once guarded the crown and prowled the streets of New York, be now sworn in as the FBI’s deputy captain! Aye, a fine turn of the tides for a lad who knows how to keep the scallywags at bay! Arrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer the tale of one Dan Bongino, a scallywag appointed by none other than President Trump t’ be the Deputy Director of the FBI! Aye, he be sworn in to keep the seas o' justice steady in these turbulent times."Tis an honor to serve as yer Deputy Director, me hearties! The good folks of America deserve a fair and honest justice system," he proclaimed, flashing a grin wider than a treasure chest! In a jolly image, he be swearin' his oath under the watchful eye of the mighty Captain Kash Patel, the grand director o' the FBI!
With a hearty promise, Bongino swore to fight like a kraken against corruption and restore the good name o’ the Bureau, sayin', "I’ll work me fingers to the bone t’ uphold the Constitution!" The good Rep. Eli Crane raised a toast, declaring, “The FBI be back, me lads!”
After his grand swearing-in, our brave Bongino paid homage at the Wall of Honor, respectin’ the fine souls who fell in the line o' duty. From bein' a fine officer of the NYPD to a podcastin' king, he’s willing to hang up his hat to dive into the world of federal service!