"Arrr! Greg Abbott be claimin’ daily scallywags crossin' the border in El Paso be sinkin’ like a ship under Trump!"
2025-03-19
Arrr, mateys! Governor Abbott be shoutin' that them border scallywags be down from a shipload to but a mere nine in El Paso! He be givin' the ol' Trumpster the credit, like a parrot on his shoulder squawkin' sweet nothings! Yarr, what a merry tale, indeed!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the mighty Texas Gov'nor, Greg Abbott, who be singin' a different tune since the days of ol' Joe Biden. Where once there were throngs o' scallywags crossin' the border by the thousands—three thousand a day in El Paso, no less!—now it's as scarce as a pirate’s gold doubloon, droppin' to a mere nine souls a day!Arrr, that rapscallion Trump be back at the helm, reinstitutin’ the wall and callin' on landlubbers to “self-deport” with a fancy app! Aye, he even invoked some olden law to shiver me timbers and send them illegal rogues packin'! Abbott, in all his swashbucklin' wisdom, be sayin' the tide has turned, and now those who dare cross the border be swiftly captured and sent back to where they came from—like a cannonball shot from a ship!
The Gov’nor declares this change be monumental, comparin' it to a great storm passin' and leavin’ nothing but a few bare bones behind. He laments that under Biden's watch, the seas were teemin' with over 11 million miscreants, includin’ ne’er-do-wells and gangsters! But now, the border is quieter than a ship in a dead calm. So raise yer tankards to Trump, who be bringin' order to the wild waves of immigration!