Arrr, JD Vance be tellin' of his lass textin’ him ‘neath the table: “These scallywags be nuttier than a treasure chest!”
2025-03-19
Arrr, matey! Vice Captain JD Vance be spoutin' a tale of a tech buccaneer at a feast o' fine grub, while his fair maiden be sendin' secret messages from beneath the table! Aye, love and tech be a curious treasure, eh?
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale from Vice President JD Vance, a scallywag who shared a yarn from a wild Silicon Valley feast, where he found himself among landlubbers of the tech ilk. While he voiced his fears that the good ol’ U.S. of A. was settin’ sail fer troubled waters, where middle-class folk be left in the dust, a CEO piped up with a curious notion!This tech captain weren’t bothered by the loss of purpose in the working class, oh no! Instead, he proclaimed that the answer lay in "digital, fully-immersive gaming." Aye, ye heard it right! Vance’s lass, Usha, be textin’ him from beneath the table, sayin’, "We be needin’ to skedaddle, these scallywags be mad!" Indeed, a wise woman she be!
As Vance regaled his audience at the American Dynamism Summit, he declared that the cheap labor be like a cursed crutch, holdin' back true innovation! He swore that America shan't triumph by tradin’ child labor laws fer pennies in gold from afar. Nay, we shall protect our hearty workers and hoist the sails of innovation to conquer the seas of the future! Yarrr!