Arrr, Mahmoud be sayin' it be 'anti-Palestinian scallywags' what landed him in the brig! Blimey!
2025-03-19
Arrr, the scallywag from Columbia be caught in the clutches o’ the federal sea-dogs! He be yellin' it be "anti-Palestinian" foulness and other dark forces robbin' him of his rights! A fine tale, indeed, but methinks he’d best be watchin’ for the tempest in his own bilge!
Ahoy there, ye scallywags! Gather 'round for a jolly tale of Mahmoud Khalil, a landlubber o' Columbia University, who found himself shackled by the iron hands of the federal immigration authorities, accused of lendin' aid to Hamas, ye see. Our matey, a 30-year-old green card holder wed to a fair U.S. maiden, was snatched up on the 8th day of March, a day that be surely cursed!From the depths of his detention dungeon, Khalil penned a missive, claimin' his capture be a foul act of anti-Palestinian racism, and he pointed the finger at Columbia's higher-ups who turned a blind eye to the ruckus on campus. He be shoutin' from the rooftops that both the Biden and Trump crews be guilty o' this injustice, while the mighty U.S. be armorin' Israel to the teeth!
But fear not, for Khalil be fightin' back, as a judge has decided his case shall be heard in New Jersey, a place deemed less infested with bedbugs than his current prison! He be likin' to think his plight be a matter of First Amendment rights, callin' on all students, activists, and officials to rally together to defend the fight for Palestine. As he bravely quoth, “I aim to free not just myself but also those who be shackled by their own hatred and fear!” Yarrr!