The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The council be blubberin' like scallywags over ICE joinin' forces with their local swabs!

2025-03-20

Arrr, the Fort Myers Council be flounderin' like a fish outta water! They be settlin' a squabble over ICE and the lawmen with a tearful tie o' 3-3, leavin’ some scallywags weepin’ like babes. Avast, who knew them council mates had such soft hearts?

Arrr, matey! The council be blubberin' like scallywags over ICE joinin' forces with their local swabs!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round for a tale from the shores of Fort Myers, where the city council be weepin' like scallywags over a controversial agreement with the notorious ICE! Aye, it be true, council wenches Darla Bonk and Diana Giraldo shed tears as they pondered grantin' the local coppers the power to act like ICE agents, catchin' illegal landlubbers!

Bonk, shakin' in her boots, lamented about losin' treasure from the state if they didn’t comply, declaring boldly, “Me city ain’t for sale!” Meanwhile, Giraldo, the lone immigrant in the crew, feared the agreement would lead to some racial shenanigans against the Hispanic crew. In a moment of camaraderie, they even clasped hands, as if swearin' an oath on the high seas!

Yet, the ship of approval sailed not, with a deadlock of 3-3 – a tie no good for navigatin' these waters! The Florida Attorney General, James Uthmeier, fired off a warning cannon, threatenin' the council with penalties if they stayed a sanctuary for those who’d fled from the law. He warned, “Fix this or face the storm!”

So, the council be callin' an emergency meetin' on Friday to chart a new course and find a way to keep their city safe, all while dodgin' the wrath of the federal beast! Aye, what a tempestuous tale on the tides of governance!

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