"Arrr! School choice scallywags be warnin' mateys 'bout blue state’s homeschool law, or ye might find yerselves in Davy Jones' locker!"
2025-03-20
Arrr, me hearties! A scroll from the Illinois sea-farin' folk be raisin' a ruckus 'bout new rules fer teachin’ the wee scallywags at home! If ye break 'em, ye might find yerself walkin’ the plank to the hoosegow! Parental rights be in peril, aye!
Avast ye landlubbers and scallywags! A storm brews in the fair land of Illinois, where a gaggle of ruffians, led by the Democratic crew, be pushin' a bill that threatens the freedom of homeschooling parents like a cannonball to a ship's hull! This here bill, HB2827, be demandin’ that all homeschooling parents declare their intentions or face the gallows—well, up to 30 days in the brig and a nice fine, if ye please.‘Tis not just a matter of parchment and quills, sayeth the brave Sonja Shaw, a warrior for parental rights from California. She warns that these landlocked marauders be stripin’ families of their rights whilst the wee ones be flounderin’ in the basics of readin’, writin’, and mathin’! She calls upon all parents to hoist the sails and fight this tyranny before it sinks their ships!
With the Democrats claiming they be protectin’ children from hidden dangers, many argue that homeschooled lads and lasses fare just as well as those schooled by public sea captains. The bill now sails to the House, where a final duel shall determine its fate. Stand firm, ye homeschooling buccaneers, for this be a fight worth fightin’ for the future of yer precious crew!