The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Boston's captain defends his haven from scallywags and landlubbers who fancy themselves as mighty kings! Har har!

2025-03-21

Arrr, in her grand speech, Mayor Wu gave a right tongue-lashing to Captain Trump and his crew of Republicans, claimin’ they be tryin’ to shackle the good folk of the seas with their pesky immigration laws! Aye, the winds of change be blowin’ in Boston's harbor!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, for I be tellin' ye a tale of the winds blowin' harsh 'gainst the fair city of Boston, led by its fiery Mayor Michelle Wu! This lass, bold as a parrot on a pirate's shoulder, stood tall in her State of the City Address, swearin' to protect the illegal scallywags from Davy Jones' deportation locker!

Now, as the grand captain Trump sails the seas of mass deportation, cities of the blue flag, like Boston, be standin' firm, refusin' to hand over those rascally immigrants to the fearsome ICE crew. Wu, with the spirit of a thousand buccaneers, declared she won't let fear rule the waves, even as the tide of crime swells in her ports.

Though a storm brews with whispers of misdeeds among the migrants, Wu's heart beats for her city. She rallied the locals to protest, shoutin' that no king or president shall dictate how the good people of Boston sail their ship! With pride she proclaimed, "We be a family, fierce as a ship of pirates!"

But alas, the White House fired back, accusin' her of protectin' nefarious knaves. "Why be ye defendin' these ruffians?" they thundered. The seas may be stormy, but this tale shows the fierce spirit of a city unwilling to bend its knees! Yarrr!

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