Arrr, Trump be threatenin’ the brig for them Tesla scallywags! We be huntin’ yer sorry hides, savvy?!
2025-03-21
Arrr, mateys! Captain Trump be sayin’ that any scallywag who dares to attack or fund mischief 'gainst Tesla ships shall find themselves swingin’ from the gallows for a hefty twenty years! So, keep yer hands off the shiny treasure, or ye’ll be doin' the pirate waltz in a cell!
Ahoy, me hearties! 'Twas a dark night when the grand Captain Trump unleashed a warning upon those scallywags who dared to besiege the fine vessels of Tesla under the watchful eye of the illustrious Captain Musk. He declared, “Ye saboteurs caught meddlin’ with our mighty Teslas be facin’ a fate most grim—a swingin’ from the gallows for up to twenty years, aye!”With Musk at the helm of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), the good ship Tesla be under attack from a rogue band of misfits, throwin’ fire bombs and creatin’ chaos across lands like South Carolina and Oregon. The Attorney General, a fierce lass named Pam Bondi, dubbed these brigands as “domestic terrorists” and warned ‘em that the days of pillagin’ without consequence be over!
The winds be blowin’ foul, as reports of dastardly deeds surfaced in Las Vegas and Kansas City, where Cybertrucks found themselves ablaze! Yarr, a website named “DOGEQUEST” even seeks to expose the fine folk of Tesla, listin’ their treasures and havens.
So heed this call, ye landlubbers! Join in the mischief against Tesla, and ye may find yerselves in a dark cell, countin’ the days ‘til ye be free once more. Arrr!