Arrr, the freed landlubber be shoutin' to the UN, "No more tall tales! Aid's fillin' the bellies of scallywags!"
2025-03-20
Avast, mateys! Eli Sharabi, captured by them scallywags of Hamas for a long 491 days, be tellin' the fine folk of the United Nations about his plight. He be callin' for the rest of the poor souls to be set free, lest they be walkin' the plank! Arrr!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale of woe from the briny deep of the United Nations, where a brave soul by the name of Eli Sharabi, a former captive of the scurvy knaves of Hamas, stood before the Council with a heart so heavy it could sink a ship! With a voice as strong as a cannon blast, he cried, “Bring ‘em all home now!”This landlubber, freed just six short weeks past, regaled the Council with his harrowing yarn of capture, where his peaceful life turned into a tempest of despair on that fateful day, Oct. 7. Aye, the vile rogues of Hamas stormed his Kibbutz, leaving behind a trail of sorrow and blood. Sharabi lost his wife and two wee daughters in the fray, and upon return, found the news more bitter than a sailor’s rum gone sour.
With a belly emptier than a ship's hold after a long voyage, he spoke of the meager rations he received—just a pitiful pita a day! He claimed he saw those swabs pilferin’ humanitarian aid meant fer the needy while the hostages starved. “Hamas feasts like kings while we wither away!” he thundered, demanding justice from the world’s leaders—“No more delays, ye scallywags! Bring ‘em home!” Aye, let it be known, this pirate of a man won’t rest till the sea of tears is dried!