The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Jimmy be houndin' Captain Schiff, askin' why California can't be slicin' through red tape after the fiery chaos!

2025-03-21

Arrr! Sen. Adam Schiff be swabbin' the deck with Gov. Gavin Newsom's choice, slicin' through the bureaucratic barnacles t’ fix the fiery ruckus in Los Angeles! All this after young Jimmy Kimmel pried like a hungry parrot! Aye, the winds of change be blowin' fair!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Sen. Adam Schiff and Governor Gavin Newsom, who be settin’ sail to cut the red tape that binds the rebuilding of Los Angeles after them fiery foes! In an interview, the doughty Schiff declared that if we can speed up permits for rebuilding after calamity, why not do it all the time? Aye, that be a fine point, savvy?Newsom, bless his captain's heart, declared a state of emergency to fast-track wildfire prevention projects, much to the chagrin of ol' Donald Trump, who be hurlin’ insults like cannonballs at Newsom’s efforts! The governor be suspending pesky environmental regulations that slow down the ship, lookin’ to tackle the most ferocious wildfires in California history!Schiff be callin’ for a swift return to action, sayin’ that the Democratic Party must show these scallywags they can get things done! Meanwhile, in the fair city of San Francisco, Mayor Lurie be lettin' the crew know they best be back to the office or risk walkin' the plank! He be claimin’ that such efficiency be what the good citizens expect.So hoist the sails, me mateys, fer it appears California's leaders be makin' a merry effort to rebuild and reclaim the seas of governance!

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