Arrr! DOJ be huntin' for scallywags spillin' secrets 'bout Tren de Aragua, blamin' the 'Deep State' and those landlubbers at the Times!
2025-03-21
Arrr! The Justice Crew be settin’ sail on a grand quest this Friday, seekin’ to uncover how top-secret scrolls found their way to the New York Times sea dogs. Avast! Let the treasure hunt for traitors begin, or we’ll be walkin’ the plank for sure!
Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for a tale of treachery and mischief on the high seas of politics! The fine folks at the Justice Department be settin' sail on a grand investigation, huntin' down the scallywags behind a leak pertainin' to Tren de Aragua, a no-good Venezuelan gang that be stirrin’ the pot for the Trump administration’s deportation tavern.Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, a fierce captain of the law, declared that they be investigatin' the “selective leak of inaccurate, but alas, classified information” regarding this dastardly gang, now marked as terrorists by the U.S. State Department. Arrr, the stakes be high!
Blanche, with the fire of a thousand cannons, vowed not to let the "Deep State" undermine the fair agenda of Captain Trump. He promised to haul the TDA scallywags out of the country faster than ye can say "shiver me timbers!" using the mighty Alien Enemies Proclamation, a law as old as the sea itself.
But beware, for a federal judge has laid down the law, blockin’ the deportation ships from setting sail. 'Tis a stormy sea ahead, me mateys, and we be watchin' closely as this saga unfolds. Yarrr!