The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Kitty Dukakis, matey of the '88 captain, has sailed to Davy Jones' locker at the ripe age of 88!

2025-03-22

Arrr, tied the knot with Gov. Michael Dukakis of the Bay State, she did! After tryin’ to drown her sorrows in grog failed, she turned to the magic of zap-zap therapy, hopin’ to jolt her troubles away! Aye, a true swashbuckler of the mind!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer I be tellin' ye the tale of a fair lass, wed to the gallant Gov'nor Michael Dukakis of the fine land of Massachusetts! Aye, this be no ordinary tale, but one of tempestuous waters and stormy minds!

As the winds of fate blew harsh upon her, this lass found herself besieged by the demons of drinkin’ and melancholy, swiggin' rum like a sailor on shore leave. Alas, despite her brave attempts to outsmart the bottle and the blues, naught worked to calm the tempest within her. But fear not, for our gallant wench, with the courage of a sea captain, sought the remedy of electroshock therapy! Aye, ye heard me right! She traded her grog for a jolt that’d make a thunderstorm seem tame!

With a zap here and a crackle there, she became a fervent believer in the electrifying cure, proclaiming it better than a hearty sea shanty or a barrel of rum! So raise yer tankards, ye scallywags, to the brave lass who turned her plight into a jolly adventure of zaps and jolts! Aye, may we all find our own way through the storms, be it by rum, electrocution, or a hearty laugh! Arrr!

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