Arrr! Trump be demandin’ the removal o’ his wonky portrait from the Colorado stronghold, callin’ Governor Polis a scallywag!
2025-03-24
Arrr, Captain Trump be raisin’ a ruckus over his portrait hangin’ in the Colorado treasure trove! He be callin’ it a wretched sight, all twisted and ugly, like a parrot with a bad beak! “Away with it!” he cries, “Lest me eyes should weep!” Avast, what a scallywag!
Ahoy, mateys! Lend yer ears to the ruckus in the land of Colorado, where the infamous Captain Trump be demandin’ the removal of a portrait most foul from the hallowed halls of the State Capitol. Aye, he be claimin’ it to be a wretchedly distorted likeness, a sight so dreadful it could scare the scallywags off a ghost ship!"Arrr, no soul be likin’ a portrait that makes 'em look worse than a barnacle!” Trump bellowed through the seas of Truth Social, comparin’ himself to the illustrious Obama, whose portrait be the very picture of handsomeness. He set sail on this quest to have the offending painting tossed overboard, claimin’ it was the voice of the angry Coloradans, cryin’ out for justice!
But hark! Not only was he miffed by the brush strokes of artist Sarah Boardman, who painted him not as a fierce captain but as a neutral hand on the wheel of history, Trump also took the chance to berate the weak-kneed Governor Polis over his lackluster crime policies. "Shame on ye, Jared!” he thundered, settin’ his sights on crime lords and their antics in Aurora.
So, there ye have it, a tale of portraits, pride, and political barbs fit for the high seas! Arrr! Let the colors fly free, lest they be lost to the depths of the ocean blue!