Arrr! Trump’s portrait be so twisted, it be lookin’ like a scallywag! Down with it from the Colorado stronghold!
2025-03-24
Arrr, matey! The portrait of that landlubber President Trump be walkin' the plank from the Colorado state hull, after he had a right ol' squawk ‘bout it on the weekend! Aye, even paintings can’t escape the scallywag’s tongue! Huzzah to the art of mutiny!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of a portrait o' the one they call President Trump, which be said to be “purposefully distorted.” This here piece o' art, crafted by the fair artist Sarah Boardman during Trump’s first term, be ordered to be taken down from the grand halls o' the Colorado Capitol by the leaders of the Republican crew in Denver, aye!The Democrats be saying, “If the GOP wishes to squander their doubloons on the visage hangin' in the Capitol, let ‘em!” Trump, he be raisin' a ruckus over the likeness, claimin' it be the worst portrayal he ever laid eyes upon—worse than a scurvy dog, I tell ye! In a Truth Social missive, he lamented that the portrait be a vile twistin' of his countenance, while ol’ Obama looked grand, like a fine parrot in full plumage.
In his huffin’ and puffin’, Trump called upon the pirate king of Colorado, Gov. Jared Polis, to haul down the monstrosity, sayin’ folks from the Rockies be mighty angry over the affront to their fair state. So, if ye hear the winds of change blowin’ through the Capitol, just know it be the sound of Trump’s portrait bein’ sent back to Davy Jones’ locker! Arrr!