Arrr, Schumer be sayin' any GOP plan to sink the Schoolin' Ship be as good as Davy Jones' locker, matey!
2025-03-25
Arrr, me hearties! Captain Schumer be swearin’ that if them scallywag Republicans try to bury the Department o’ Education in Davy Jones' locker, that bill’ll be as good as a fish without water—dead on arrival, it will! Aye, let the jestin’ begin!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the high seas o' politics! Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, a fine lad from New York, be claimin' that if them scallywags in the Republican crew think they can hoist the sails to close the Department of Education, it be "dead on arrival," like a fish outta water!Now, our fearless captain, President Donald Trump, be makin' waves with an executive order, shoutin' that he wants to send the Department to Davy Jones' locker and return the power to the states, savvy? He swears the useful bits will be preserved, like a parrot on a shoulder, but Schumer be havin' none of it!
In a floor speech, Schumer be remindin' all hands that Trump can’t just sail off without Congress's permission. "If the Republicans be tryin' to send this bill through, we'll stop it dead in its tracks!" he declared, makin' it clear that the Department be here to stay, as long as he and his mates be breathin'!
The Department be young, just shy of 50 years, settin' sail back in 1980. Schumer, who be servin' in the legislature almost as long, be ready to defend it with the fury of a stormy sea. So hoist the colors, me hearties, for this battle be far from over!