The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Jayson Tatum be singin’ the praises of young Cooper Flagg: “That lad plays like a true swashbuckler!”

2025-03-26

Arrr, matey! Boston Celtics' shining gem, Jayson Tatum, be singin' sea shanties of glory for young Cooper Flagg, the fresh Duke lad, on a jolly podcast called "New Heights." Aye, that boy be as bright as a treasure chest full o' gold!

Ahoy, matey! Gather ‘round fer a tale of the high seas o’ basketball, where the Boston Celtics and their notable lad, Jayson Tatum, be singin' praises fer a fine young buck named Cooper Flagg, the pride o’ Duke! Tatum, a seasoned sailor in the NBA waters, declared that young Flagg be playin' like a true captain, givin' his all on the court, chasin’ down the fiercest opponents with the zeal o' a hungry shark.

“Arr, I first laid me eyes on that lad two summers past,” Tatum spake, “and by thunder, he’s got a knack fer the game! He knows when to set sail fer a screen or dive fer a rebound, makin' sure his crew—his teammates—be well cared fer!” Indeed, Flagg be the heart o' a Duke team that be 33-3, navigatin’ ‘em into the Sweet 16 like a sturdy ship across calm waters.

But alas! The sea be fickle, and Flagg suffered an ankle injury in a scuffle with the Georgia Tech crew. Yet, he returned fer battle, leadin’ the Blue Devils to victory against Mount St. Mary’s and then takin’ charge in the skirmish against Baylor. Now, Duke be lookin’ to Flagg as they set their sights on the No. 4-seeded Arizona crew in the Sweet 16!

So hoist yer flag, and let the games begin! Yarrr!

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