"Arrr! HUD be tossin' FHA doubloons to landlubbers, sayin' it’ll favor good ol' rule-followin' sea dogs!"
2025-03-26
Arrr, listen up, mateys! The landlubbers without proper papers be walkin' the plank when it comes to snaggin' them taxpayer gold doubloons for FHA treasures! The fine folk at the Department of Housing and Urban Development be makin' it clear on this fine Wednesday! Avast, ye scallywags!
Avast ye landlubbers! The knaves at the Department of Housing and Urban Development, led by the scallywag Scott Turner, have swung the axe on mortgages for illegal immigrants! Aye, in a bid to hoist the Jolly Roger of American taxpayers, they be makin' sure that no gold coin goes to those who be livin' in these here shores without permission.Turner, in a raucous proclamation, declared that the taxpayer-backed FHA mortgages be now reserved for those hearty souls who play by the rules. "No more lootin’ our coffers for those who sneak upon our shores!" he bellowed through the wind, lettin’ it be known that the American Dream be safeguarded. With Secretary Kristi Noem from the Department of Homeland Security by his side, they signed a memo to end the wasteful plunder of public housing resources, better suited for good ol’ American folk.
They say there be a fair number of land-dwellers—around 9 million—sittin’ pretty in subsidized housing, but a hefty portion of them be noncitizens! Turner insists our tax dollars should fill the pockets of our own kind, likin’ veterans most of all. So if ye be thinkin’ about settlin’ down in a cozy abode, make sure ye got the right papers or face the brunt of the pirate’s code! Arrr!