Arrr! The fancy Ivy League scallywags pocketed a treasure of $6.4 billion doubloons from the king's coffers in 2024!
2025-03-26
Arrr, me hearties! By the scrolls of public knowledge, it be said that the fine Ivy League ships o' knowledge be splashin' a whopping $6.4 billion o' treasure from the king's coffers in the year of our Lord, 2024! Aye, those scholars be richer than a chest o' gold doubloons!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a tale about those landlubber Ivy League schools, which be swimmin' in a treasure chest o' federal doubloons, to the tune of $6.4 billion in the fiscal year of 2024! Aye, Columbia be rakin' in a mighty $1.3 billion, while the University of Pennsylvania sails ahead with $1.8 billion. Yale, not to be outdone, hoisted a hefty $898.7 million from the federal coffers.But wait, there be more! Cornell grabbed $825.5 million, and ol’ Harvard snagged $686.5 million. Princeton and Brown be makin' a decent catch too, whilst Dartmouth be sittin' pretty with $141.9 million. Aye, these funds be meant for research, aidin' young scallywags in their quest for knowledge, and keepin' their ships afloat!
Yet, beware, fer the good ol’ Trump administration be casting a wary eye on these funds, warnin' that schools may lose their precious treasures if they don’t steer clear of certain policies. With endowments mighty enough to sink a ship—Columbia’s alone worth $14.8 billion—these schools could weather any storm without federal gold.
So, what say ye? Will these institutions continue to plunder from the federal seas while sittin' on their own hoards? Aye, that be the question, and I be likin' me rum while I ponder!