Arrr! Rubio be spillin' the beans on that scallywag Signal chat: "A blunder of colossal proportions, matey!"
2025-03-26
Arrr, matey! After the Signal flapdoodle hit the seas, our fair Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, be admitin' with a hearty chuckle, "A blunder of great proportions it be, addin' a landlubber scribe to our secret crew chat!" Aye, who be chartin' these waters?
Ahoy, mateys! Gather round as I regale ye with a tale of high jinks on the high seas of politics. Our gallant Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, took the stage to address a wretched blunder in the Signal-chat affair where a pesky scribe from The Atlantic got added to a secret text chain meant for the top brass o' national security! Arrr, what a blunder it be!Rubio, perched upon a tropical isle, confessed that "someone made a big mistake" by lettin’ a journalist aboard a vessel of secrecy. They intended to chart their courses and communicate like good sailors, but alas, the shockwaves rippled through the seven seas when news of the almost-classified nature of their chatter leaked! But fear not, the Pentagon claims no classified booty was shared.
Our captain of intelligence, Mike Waltz, took the fall, acknowledging his misstep in adding the meddling reporter to the crew. And while the scallywags at The Atlantic insist they uncovered "attack plans," the crew insists it be naught but a tempest in a teapot! Rubio swore no lives were endangered, and President Trump declared it merely “the only glitch” in two moons. So raise a toast to the blunders of bureaucracy, where even pirates can't keep their secrets straight!