The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! That lad Ashton Jeanty be a treasure of talent, a real gem, says his college captain!

2025-03-27

Arrr, matey! Coach James Montgomery of Boise State be chattin' with Fox News about the fine lad Ashton Jeanty, a true treasure of a prospect for the NFL Draft! This season, he be breakin' records like a ship in high seas! Aye, what a jolly good time!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to the tale of Ashton Jeanty, the swashbucklin' running back from Boise State, who ran the field like a tempest at sea! This lad be just 21 and already churned out 2,601 yards and a mighty 29 touchdowns, settin’ the seas ablaze with a record rivalin’ only the great Barry Sanders. Aye, he be a true treasure!

Now, his coach, James Montgomery, be no landlubber either! He thought young Jeanty would share the booty with another, but lo and behold, George Holani went down quicker than a ship in a storm, and Ashton seized the helm! In his sophomore year, he amassed 1,347 yards and 14 touchdowns while catchin’ passes like a seasoned sailor catchin’ fish!

The lad didn’t just train; nay! He entered “dark mode,” poundin’ the training deck like a ship’s anchor in a gale. When the season commenced, he burst forth like a cannonball, rackin’ up 267 yards and six touchdowns in a wild win against Georgia Southern! Aye, the crew knew then they had a gem aboard!

But alas, though he nearly claimed the Heisman, the seas of competition be fierce. Now he sets sail for the NFL draft, and his absence be a storm brewin’ for Boise State. May the winds guide him to glory, for he be a true legend in the makin’! Yarrr!

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