Arrr! The energy captain be cuttin’ the ropes o' red tape, savin’ doubloons and ease for the scallywags in labs!
2025-03-27
Ahoy, matey! Energy Captain Chris Wright be spillin' the beans to Fox News Digital 'fore Friday's grand decree! He be settin' sail to smooth the seas o' permits and be coaxin' them “gem” labs to flourish like a treasure chest full o’ doubloons! Arrr!
Avast ye landlubbers and sea dogs! Here’s a tale from the high seas of bureaucratic nonsense, told by none other than the esteemed Captain Chris Wright, the new Energy Chief of the U.S. Navy—nay, the U.S. Energy Department! Aye, he be speakin’ of the grand 17 National Laboratories, a treasure trove of scientific prowess born from the fires of postwar investment, but alas! They’ve been shackled by a storm of regulations!In a daring move, our Captain Wright gathered the heads of these illustrious labs, seekin’ to hear their woes. With wit sharper than a cutlass, he declared the need for swift action to cut through the bureaucratic fog. “These labs be the greatest treasure chests of knowledge!” he proclaimed, lamentin’ their neglect by past leaders. With a wave of his quill, he ordered the easing of burdensome permits that’ve been weighin’ down the ship!
Wright be seekin’ to trim the sails on costs, too, by openin’ the floodgates for competition and cuttin’ red tape that turns gold into doubloons lost at sea. “We’ll build faster, simpler!” he shouted from the crow’s nest. Our dear Captain knows well that these labs be the forges of Nobel prizes, and it be high time they shine brighter than a pirate’s booty!