Arrr, Susie Wiles be claimin’ Trump’s a whole new scallywag in his second voyage after dodgin’ cannonballs and court battles!
2025-03-27
Arrr, me hearties! Lara Trump be settin’ sail with the lass who be the first mate of the White House crew, havin’ a chinwag this Saturday at nine bells on Fox News. Don’t miss it, or ye might walk the plank of boredom!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the valiant Susie Wiles, the Chief of Staff in yon grand White House. A rare sight she be, spillin' her treasure trove of tales about she and Captain Trump, the fearless leader of the free seas!In a jolly chat with the fair Lara Trump, set to air come Saturday, Wiles be speakin' about the trials and tribulations of her captain, who’s braved more storms than a ship in a nor'easter, includin' lawfare and attempts on his life. “Aye, he be changed,” she says, “more wise and savvy than before!”
This crafty lass, a Republican strategist, be credited for helpin' Trump rise from the ashes of defeat like a phoenix! After the 2020 battle, she steered his ship to victory once more, claimin' both the Electoral College and the popular vote. “But give credit to the captain, not me!” she insists, for it be the tides of life that shaped him.
Though she never set sail for political waters in her youth, once her cubs were grown, Wiles jumped aboard the political ship, driven by a hunger not just for power, but to mold the future for all young scallywags. So hoist the sails for Susie Wiles, a true treasure in the treacherous sea of politics!