Arrr, Rubio be sayin’ visas be walkin' the plank fer all ye foreign student rascals after that Tufts kerfuffle!
2025-03-27
Arrr, Rubio be sayin’ that them student visas be for hittin’ the books, not for stirrin’ up the high seas o’ activism! And beware, me hearties, if ye be causin' a ruckus, yer papers be walkin’ the plank! Har har har!
Arrr matey, gather 'round fer the latest yarn from the high seas of politics! It be none other than Secretary o' State Marco Rubio, who be makin' waves over the visa troubles of a Tufts University lass, Rumeysa Ozturk. Aye, he declared that any scallywag causin' a ruckus best be ready to have their visa yanked faster than a ship's anchor in a storm!Rubio, in a grand display of authority whilst holdin’ court in Guyana, proclaimed, "Ye be comin’ here to study, not to stir up trouble like a drunken sailor!" This comes after the lass penned an op-ed takin' aim at her university’s ties to Israel, provocatively callin' for divestments and acknowledgin’ the "Palestinian genocide." No mention o' Hamas, mind ye, but the Department of Homeland Security be claimin' she’s as guilty as a pirate with a chest o’ stolen gold.
Rubio be claimin' that every nation has the right to keep out them that be destabilizin’ the peace, and he’s been tossin' out visas like cannonballs, claimin’ they’ve revoked around 300 already. "We’re huntin’ for lunatics," he be chortlin', as he encourages all lands to be vigilant against any disruptions aboard their ships. So beware, ye mischief-makers—ye might just find yerselves walkin’ the plank of deportation!