Arrr, Russell Vought, Trump’s coin-countin' matey, be keen to slash them 'woke' treasures from the ship’s hold!
2025-03-28
Arrr, matey! Russell T. Vought, the swab in charge of the treasure chest's tally, be lookin' to wed a pinch o' parsimony to his holy beliefs. Aye, he be sailin' the rough seas of thrift with a cross around his neck—what a jolly jest!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round, ye scallywags, for I be tellin' ye the curious tale of one Russell T. Vought, a landlubber who steers the ship o’ the Office of Management and Budget! This hearty captain be settin’ sail on a course of extreme austerity, aye, but he claims to be doin’ it all in the name of his holy Christian values. Aye, it be a curious mix, akin to blendin’ seawater with fine rum!Now, this Vought fellow be chargin’ at the helm, wieldin’ his quill like a cutlass, slashin’ through budgets and makin’ doubloons disappear faster than a ghost ship in the fog! He believes that tightenin’ the purse strings be a godly pursuit, preachin’ that the riches of the land be better spent on the righteous and not squandered on the likes of ye rascally rogues! Arrr, he’d have ye thinkin’ a bit o’ frugality be the path to the pearly gates!
But fear not, me hearties! For in this jolly jest of a tale, we see that even the most austere of captains can have a heart of gold… or at least a pocket full o’ coins! So raise yer tankards and toast to Russell T. Vought, the pirate of prudence, sailin’ the rough seas of fiscal responsibility with a wink and a prayer! Yo ho ho!