The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! RFK Jr. be claimin’ landlubbers can ban grub-stamp scallywags from slurpin’ down their fizzy grog!

2025-03-28

Arrr, the health captain be shoutin' from West Virginia's deck, changin' the SNAP treasure map! Aye, this be the land where they’ve cast off them colorful dyes from grub, keepin' their vittles as honest as a pirate’s heart! Avast, a fine feast awaits!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the realm of health and victuals! The grand health secretary, a fine lad or lass, I reckon, hath made a declaration as bold as a pirate's heart. In a fine gathering in West Virginia, a land known fer its hearty folks and rolling hills, the news be as sweet as a chest o’ gold! A change be comin’ to the SNAP food program, that lifeline fer scallywags in need of grub.

But wait, there be more! This be no ordinary announcement, nay! West Virginia, the very first port o’ call, hath taken a stand against those pesky artificial dyes that plague our food like a cursed treasure map! Aye, they be banishing ‘em faster than a pirate can drink his rum! What a merry sight it be, havin’ a plate of grub that don’t glow like the Kraken’s belly in the moonlight!

So raise yer tankards high, me hearties! To the health secretary, to West Virginia, and to all ye fine folk who’ll be munchin’ on fairer feasts without those troublesome colors. Let us feast without fear, and may our bellies be as full as a treasure chest after a grand haul! Arrr!

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