Arrr! Kirk Cousins be causin' a ruckus in Cleveland, stirrin' up trade winds like a scallywag!
2025-03-28
Arrr, matey! Quarterback Kirk Cousins be steerin’ clear o' the shadows, fer he be caught feastin' in fine taverns o’ Cleveland this week! Aye, no secret be hidin' when yer goblin’ grub in public, savvy? A true buccaneer knows to enjoy the spoils o' the sea!
Avast, me hearties! Word be flyin' through the briny deep that Kirk Cousins, the quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, be makin’ merry in Cleveland, causin’ quite the ruckus o’er which crew he’ll sail with next season! Arrr, the 36-year-old lad was spied minglin’ with landlubbers at a Chipotle, chattin’ about his double chicken salad like a true buccaneer with a penchant for fine grub!Ye see, Cousins be causin’ quite a stir, what with the Browns bein’ in a pickle over their own quarterback troubles. Deshaun Watson, bless his soul, has been layin’ in the infirmary after blowin’ out his Achilles not once, but twice! The scallywags in Cleveland be wonderin’ if he’ll ever return to the ship again.
Meanwhile, the Falcons be stickin’ with Cousins for the time bein’, even after draftin’ a lad named Michael Penix Jr. to take the helm. Cousins signed a mighty fine treasure of a deal worth $180 million, but alas, the Falcons be missin’ their playoff voyage for the seventh year runnin’!
So hoist the anchor and keep yer spyglass handy, for the winds of fate be blowin’ Cousins’ way, and we’ll see where this roguish sea of NFL gossip carries him next! Yarrr!