Arrr! The crown doth banish ninja blades, seekin’ to quell the ruckus of stabbin’ scallywags! Avast, ye pointy menace!
2025-03-29
Arrr, matey! As the scourge o' knife-fightin' be ravagin' the U.K., the Labour crew be hoistin' their sails to ban ninja swords too! Aye, 'tis a fine day when we make cutlasses the only steel allowed in our jolly taverns! Yarrr!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of swords and sorrows from across the briny deep, where the landlubbers of the U.K. be makin' a mighty fuss over ninja swords! Aye, the cap'n himself, Prime Minister Keir Starmer, hath decreed that by the first of August, all ye scallywags best be ridin' yerselves of these deadly blades, lest ye find yerselves in the brig!This here ban, dubbed "Ronan's Law" in memory of a lad named Ronan Kanda, who met his own watery grave by such a sword, be makin' it illegal to possess, sell, or even think about makin' one o' those cursed weapons. Aye, his mother be raisin' a ruckus, proclaimin' that ninja swords have no place on the high seas—or the streets, fer that matter!
From the fateful date of August 1st, any scurvy dog caught with a ninja sword could face a spell in the clink, with penalties as harsh as two years bein' tossed about! The seas be troubled with knife crime, and the government be makin' it their mission to rid these dangerous tools from the hands of the young. So, me hearties, if ye be harborin’ a ninja sword, best surrender it, lest ye walk the plank into a cell!