The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Trumpster’s wild wave be makin' Germany scramble like a scallywag to beef up their cannon funds!

2025-03-29

Arrr, in his second voyage as captain of the ship, Trump be shakin' a fist at his mateys, like Germany, demandin' they hoist their sails and cough up doubloons for their own cannons! Aye, it be time for all hands to pay their fair share in this ruckus!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round, fer I be spillin' the tale of the landlubber president, Donald Trump, who be givin' the Germans a right good tongue-lashin' fer their skimpy defense coffers! Aye, his scoldin' forced the treasure-laden nation of Germany to finally cough up doubloons to bolster their military might, which, by all accounts, be in shambles!

Richard Grenell, the U.S. Ambassador o' yore, be spoutin' that many a German leader ignored Trump’s warnings 'bout the schemin' Russian bear lurkin' in the shadows. And lo and behold, when Putin's ship sailed into Ukraine, the Germans realized the wisdom in Trump’s rants—like feedin' a beast that turns on ye!

In the past, the Germans chuckled and smirked at Trump’s claims 'bout their Russian gas dependency, but that mirth turned sour when the tides of war rolled in. Now, their new chancellor be pledgin' to rebuild their flounderin' military, hopin' to hoist their troops from a mere 181,174 to a robust 203,000 by 2031! But alas, recruitin' remains as tough as catchin' a slippery fish in a storm!

So, as the winds of change blow fierce across the seas of politics, mayhap these merry Germans will finally heed the wisdom of our rogue captain, Trump, and bolster their defenses against the encroaching storm! Arrr!

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