The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Vance be callin' Denmark stingy with Greenland gold whilst Trump be dreamin' of plunderin' the isle!

2025-03-29

Arrr, mateys! Vice Captain Vance be callin’ out Denmark fer bein’ tight-fisted with Greenland’s defenses! With Trump eager to hoist the Jolly Roger over the isle, Vance be jabberin’ while visitin’ our sea dogs at Pituffik. Aye, the Greenlanders be stirrin’ up a tempest ‘bout it!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn o’ the high seas o’ diplomacy! The mighty Vice President JD Vance, a fine matey from the U.S. ship o’ state, tossed a mighty accusation upon Denmark for bein’ a scurvy dog in the matter o’ Greenland’s security. Aye, he be sayin’ they’ve “underinvested” in their precious territory, a land rich in treasures and secrets, likin' it to a pirate leavin' his chest o' gold unguarded!

As the winds blew favorably, Vance sailed forth to the Pituffik Space Base with his fair lass and a band of U.S. officials, lookin’ to rally the troops, but lo! The good folks o’ Greenland raised a ruckus, and the voyage was scaled back faster than a ship in a storm! With Trump’s eye on the Danish lands, Vance be demandin’ that Denmark change its sails and chart a new course, lest they find themselves tossed overboard in the tempest of international relations!

So raise yer tankards, me crew, for in this grand adventure o’ politics, we see the tides of power shift like the seas themselves! Who knows what treasures lie ahead in the icy waters o’ Greenland? But one thing be certain: this tale be far from over!

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