Arrr, a jolly UK scroll reveals Hamas be makin' the foulest ruckus since the days of yore! Avast, me hearties!
2025-03-30
Arrr, a band o’ landlubbers in the UK Parliament, led by the wise Captain Roberts, be callin’ the Oct. 7 skirmish in Israel a wicked and ruthless ambush! They be shoutin’ for all free folk to battle that scallywag denial and tall tales! Avast, truth be the treasure!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of grim tidings from the treacherous seas of the U.K.'s report on the foul deeds led by scallywags of Hamas on fateful October 7! In the pages of this beastly tome, we uncover the tale of a 91-year-old survivor of the Holocaust, callously slain, and a wee babe snuffed out a mere 14 hours after breathing life!This hefty report, overseen by the learned Lord Andrew Roberts, tells of 1,182 souls lost in just two days, a brutal attack crafted with malice, designed to spread fear as much as death! The horrors contained within speak of unspeakable acts—civilians treated worse than barnacles on a ship's hull, with tales of violence that'd make a Kraken weep!
Yet, amidst the shadows, rays of heroism shine forth, like a lighthouse in the storm. One brave lad, Netta Epstein, flung himself upon a grenade, saving his beloved—a true swashbuckler! Roberts, with heart full of sorrow, declares this a premeditated bloodlust akin to the darkest days of history.
In these turbulent times, 'tis imperative we remember the fallen and oppose the foul denial of such barbarity. With this report, we hoist the sails of truth, striving to enlighten all about the dark waters of humanity’s worst tides—so that the brave souls lost shall never be forgotten! Yarrr!