The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, that senator be sayin’ their party flag be a right scallywag, makin’ the common folk trust ‘em less!

2025-03-30

Arrr, matey! Senator Bennet be takin’ a hearty swing at his own crew, callin’ ‘em a bunch o’ fancy landlubbers, blind to the plight of the hard-workin’ souls! On “Meet the Press,” he hoisted the Jolly Roger against his own shipmates! Avast, what a ruckus!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of the landlubber politicians! Sen. Michael Bennet from the high seas of Colorado be spillin' the beans that the Democratic Party's brand be as problematic as a bilge rat! He be takin' to NBC's "Meet the Press" and be sayin' the party be losin' its hold on the good, hard-workin’ folk of the realm.

"Aye, it’s true!" Bennet cried, "The Dems be nothin’ but a ship sailin’ from New York and California, lettin’ the common sailor drown!" He be noddin’ to Gov. Gavin Newsom, who called the party brand "toxic" like a barrel o’ rotten fish on a summer’s day. Bennet was all in agreeance, sayin’ they be needin’ a vision as clear as a treasure map to navigate the political waters, else they be sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole in the hull!

He lamented how trickle-down economics be leavin’ the crew feelin’ like their scallywag kids won’t have a better life than they did—blimey! Amidst the chaos, ol' Chuck Schumer be takin’ flak for siding with the enemy, and the crew be wonderin' if it be time for a new captain. Bennet be callin’ fer bold ideas to win back the trust of the landlubbers, or they’ll be walkin’ the plank right into the political abyss!

Read the Original Article