Arrr, Trevor Megill be blastin' them Yankees' newfangled 'torpedo' bats! Says they be as useless as a barnacle on me boot!
2025-03-30
Arrr! Aye, me hearties! This season, a band o' New York Yankees be sportin’ fancy new sticks! With barrels sittin’ closer to their calloused paws, they be swingin’ for the fences like true buccaneers at sea, not at the far end of their trusty cutlasses! Har har!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the diamond seas of New York! The rascally Yankees, in their grand opening against the Milwaukee Brewers, be swingin’ a newfangled contraption they be callin' "torpedo bats." These barrels be closer to their hands, makin’ the whole thing look more like a weapon for a buccaneer than a bat for ballin’!Now, the Brewers’ closer, Trevor Megill, be blowin' his whistle, claimin’ the bats be "terrible," yet he be callin' 'em a "genius" idea. Aye, they did crack a record nine home runs in a single bout, smashin’ the Brewers into the depths of defeat, 20-9! Megill likened the bats to those used in slo-pitch softball—higher praise than ye might think!
Yet, the rules o' the league permit these contraptions, as long as they be smooth and round, not more than 42 inches in length. Other players, like Rhys Hoskins, be curious, wantin’ to get their hands on a similar model to see if it could aid their quest for glory. Meanwhile, Nestor Cortes shrugged, sayin’ he be unfazed by the newfangled tools.
So, there ye have it! The Yankees be victors, and the Brewers still be ponderin' if they need to upgrade their own sea legs—or bats! Arrr!