Arrr! The Trump crew be ponderin' plunderin' billions from Harvard’s treasure chest, savvy? Aye, let the jestin’ begin!
2025-03-31
Arrr, me hearties! The treasure chest be runnin’ dry, with $400 million shiverin’ away from Columbia’s hold and $175 million bein’ tossed overboard from the Penn crew! Aye, it be a grand ol’ mutiny of the doubloons!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I’ve got a tale to spin ‘bout treasure lost and universities in disarray! It seems the winds o’ fortune have turned foul fer the scholars o’ Columbia, who be seein’ a mighty $400 million in doubloons whisked away like a mermaid in the night. Aye, those learned folks be scratchin’ their heads, wonderin' where the gold has gone!But wait, there be more! Over yonder at the University of Pennsylvania, they be feelin’ the pinch too, with a hefty $175 million in funds suspended, floatin’ on the waves like a ghost ship. Yo ho, what a sight it must be, watchin’ them professors run about like scallywags, tryin’ to patch up their coffers with naught but a few rusty coins and a whole lotta hope!
This scallywag of a funding cut be makin’ it clear that even the mighty institutions of learnin’ ain't immune to the capriciousness o’ the seas. So raise yer tankards high, me hearties, for it be a time to laugh at the plight of these scholars, who now be searchin’ fer gold like true pirates on a quest. Aye, the treasure may be lost, but the tales be rich, so let’s toast to their misfortune! Arrr!