Avast, matey! TikTok be walkin' the plank again—what’s next fer this ship o' folly, and do we even care?
2025-03-31
Arrr, me hearties! Word sails that TikTok be walkin' the plank on April 5! What be the grand scheme, ye ask? Why, if ye cherish yer jigs and jiggles, ye best be payin' heed, lest ye find yerself landlocked without yer daily dose o' mirth!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout that rascally TikTok that once vanished like a ghost ship on the horizon! Aye, on the fateful day of January 19, a whopping 175 million landlubbers in the US found their TikTok plunder snatched away for twelve long hours, only to be saved by a decree from the White House, promising a 75-day reprieve! But fret not, for naught has yet been sold to a US company, savvy?The Chinese scallywags at ByteDance be as tight-lipped as a clam! TikTok's captain, Shou Zi Chew, gave a hearty thanks to President Trump but has otherwise gone silent like a sunken ship. Meanwhile, TikTok be throwin' gold coins at ads, boasting 'bout its treasure trove for small businesses, claiming they made $15 billion in 2023. Yarr, that's a bountiful haul!
As the clock ticks down to the deadline, talk of potential buyers like Mr. Beast and Oracle fills the air, yet no deal be inked! The White House be makin' promises of interest but with no treasure map in sight. If no deal be struck by April 5, TikTok may find itself walking the plank, along with its kin in the ByteDance fleet!
So, keep a weather eye out, me mateys! The fate of TikTok hangs in the balance like a pirate's last gold doubloon. Yarrr!