Arrr! The Trump crew be settin' sail to plunder Harvard's treasure, hatchin' a scheme on higher learnin'!
2025-03-31
Arrr, me hearties! The Trump crew be settin’ sail to plunder near $9 billion from Harvard’s treasure chest, claimin’ it be a quest to rid the seas of antisemitism! Aye, the government’s task force be on the hunt, searchin’ for scallywags in hospitals too! Avast, what a jolly jest!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale from the swells of politics, where the winds of change blow fierce and the tides be ever unpredictable! On a fine Monday morn, the Trump crew, led by the captain of the ship of state, declared a grand “review” o’ nearly $9 billion doubloons meant fer that fabled institution known as Harvard, along with its kin, the hospitals nearby. Aye, they be settin’ sail to “root out antisemitism,” a beastie lurkin’ in the dark corners o’ academia!This here task force, all decked out in their finest garb, be on a mission to hunt down the scallywags who dare spread hate. But let’s be honest, mateys—$9 billion be a treasure trove fit for a pirate king! What be findin’ said antisemitism look like? A suspicious look from a scholar? A wayward comment in the tavern of knowledge? The world be full o’ mysteries, me lads!
So, as the Trump administration hoists its sails and sets course through these choppy waters, we can only chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Just remember, even in the high seas of politics, a hearty laugh can keep the crew united! Yarrr!