Arrr, the lad of Brett Gardner might've met Davy Jones from a sneaky gas! Blimey, what a tragic tale!
2025-04-01
Arrr, mateys! The savvy folk o’ Costa Rica be spoutin’ tales of carbon monoxide bein’ the scallywag that sent young Miller Gardner to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, a former Yankees star’s lad meetin’ his fate in such a sneaky way be a right jolly twist, eh?
Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round for a tale most tragic from the sun-kissed shores of Costa Rica, where the winds of misfortune have blown upon the good ship Gardner. The lad Miller, a sprightly 14-year-old, has met his untimely fate, and 'tis said the culprit be none other than that scallywag, carbon monoxide! Aye, the authorities have uncovered foul play in the form of "high levels of contamination" in the family’s lodgings, likely driftin’ in from a machinery room nearby.As the OIJ’s Captain Zúñiga regaled us with the tale, he mentioned the family had been enjoyin’ their holiday when disaster struck. The good folks at the hotel, where they dined on pasta fit for a king, called upon a doctor when sickness hit the crew at the stroke of eleven. Alas, it was too late for young Miller, who was found in his bunk, having met his end in the dead of night. There be murmurings of food poisonin’ and asphyxiation, but those theories be tossed like a ship in a tempest.
Though the Gardners be mournin’ their loss, the memory of Miller will sail on, cherished by kin and comrades alike. So raise a glass, ye hearty souls, and toast to the life of a lad whose spirit shall forever roam the seas of our hearts! Arrr!