Arrr! Prosecutors be huntin’ Luigi Mangione like a scallywag, seekin’ the noose, says Bondi! Avast, what a right ruckus!
2025-04-01
Arrr, matey! The chief legal buccaneer be claimin’ that huntin’ Luigi Mangione for Davy Jones’ locker be in line with the captain’s decree from President Trump! Aye, it be a right swashbucklin’ twist fer an insurance scalawag! Avast, the sea of justice be stormy indeed!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tales of a scallywag named Luigi Mangione, a knave accused of sendin' an insurance executive to Davy Jones' locker! Aye, the high seas of justice be churning, as the attorney general himself be declarin' that the long arm of the law seeks to swing the ol' hangman’s noose ‘round Luigi’s neck. Arrr, what a fate fer a landlubber!Ye see, this decision be sailin' under the flag of an executive order from none other than the captain of the ship called Trump! Aye, the winds be blowin' in favor of a death penalty, makin' it clear that even in the buccaneer's world of legalities, there be no room fer mercy when a pirate's got blood on his hands!
With the attorney general at the helm, this saga be unfoldin' like an old sea shanty, with each note bringin' a chuckle and a gasp. So, let it be known across the seven seas, whether ye be a pirate or a parleyin’ lawyer, that justice be served with a hearty laugh, and perhaps a pint o' rum! Shiver me timbers, Luigi be in a pickle of his own makin'!