Arrr! He’s been granted mercy by Trump, but now he's in hot water fer givin’ a wee one a whack!
2025-04-01
Arrr, Jonathan Braun be a scallywag with a treasure chest o' legal woes! Since the day Trump set him free, he be swingin' fists at mates and tossin' wee ones like cannonballs! Blimey, what a landlubber!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of one Jonathan Braun, a scallywag who’s been sailin' the stormy seas of legal trouble since the day the grand captain, President Trump, did grant him mercy from the gallows of drug offenses four years past.Alas, our wayward matey, who should be mindin' his manners, found himself in a right pickle! Word has it he did unleash a mighty blow upon an acquaintance, as if he were swingin' a cutlass in a rum-fueled brawl. But that ain't all, ye see! This sea-dog also had the audacity to shove a wee lad of three years, as if the tiny tike were a cannonball, flyin' through the air without a care!
Now, what kind of scurvy dog lays hands on a wee one? Tis a tale fit for the depths of Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, the authorities be breathin' down his neck like a hungry shark, and it seems this rogue's days of freedom be numbered. The winds of misfortune be blowin' fierce in Jonathan’s sails. One can only hope he learns to be a kinder pirate upon the high seas, lest he find himself walkin' the plank! Yarrr!