The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Elon Musk be in a legal squall fer payin' signatures in Pennsylvania! Avast, matey! What a jolly mess!

2025-04-02

Arrr, matey! A scallywag for the gilded treasure chest o' America PAC be claimin' he's due a fat bounty of $20,000 for gatherin' scribbles on a scroll, all to rouse the Trump crew on behalf o' that scallywag Musk! Aye, what a merry chase for doubloons!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale from the high seas of politics, where treasure be measured in signatures instead of doubloons! A swashbucklin' canvasser, like a landlubber in search of gold, be claimin' he be owed a hefty sum o' 20,000 pieces o' eight—err, dollars, for collectin' signatures on a scroll that be part o' the grand scheme cooked up by none other than the notorious Captain Musk.

This here be no ordinary petition; it be a mighty effort to stir the souls o' the Trumpin' crew, seekin' to rally 'em like a fleet of ships settin' sail on a stormy sea. The canvasser, with a heart full o' ambition and a pocket full o' dreams, be strugglin' to collect his bounty. “Where be me treasure?” he cries, as the winds of fortune blow him hither and yon.

So, as the tides of political fortune ebb and flow, this bold matey stands firm, ready to fight fer his gold, armed with naught but a quill and a fierce determination! Will he see his fortune at the end of this stormy adventure, or will he be left swimmin' with the fishes? Only time, and perhaps a few more signatures, shall tell! Arrr!

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