Avast! A scallywag o’ North Carolina, brandishin’ a cutlass and pilferin’ cinnamon rolls, now be in shackles, says the law!
2025-04-02
Arrr, in Asheville, North Carolina, the landlubber was nabbed by the law after he swiped a cinnamon bun, brandishin’ a fearsome machete! He then took to his heels, runnin’ like a scallywag with his treasure! The sweet roll, it seems, be worth riskin’ the gallows, aye!
Avast ye, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to a jolly jape from the fine shores of Asheville, North Carolina! A scallywag by the name of Jeffrey Dewayne Bradburn, aged 33, be caught with a mighty weapon—a machete no less—after he brazenly pilfered a cinnamon bun from a grocery store! Aye, ‘tis true! This rogue fled the scene faster than a ship in a squall!The good officers of the Asheville Police, alerted to the ruckus, rushed to the scene only to find the dastardly deed had been done. An employee reported that the knave, after snatching the sugary treasure, brandished his blade before legging it like a frightened parrot! But fear not, for justice be swift! Our hero constables scoured the area and soon spied Bradburn munchin' on the very bun he had purloined!
With nary a moment's hesitation, they apprehended the rascal, who now faces charges of armed robbery, shoplifting, and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was taken to the Buncombe County Detention Facility, where he sits behind bars with a bond of $50,000 clinking in his pockets. So, ye landlubbers, keep yer cinnamon buns safe, lest ye find yerselves facing a pirate with a machete!