Arrr, Matt Strahm be sayin’, “Let’s drench our cannons in pine tar, lest them bat-wieldin’ scallywags sink our ships!”
2025-04-02
Arrr! Matt Strahm be chattin’ on the X seas, sayin’ as long as them torpedo bats be lurkin’, pitchers oughta be free to use whatever scallywags be waitin’ in the on-deck circle! Aye, let the mayhem commence!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to this tale of baseball shenanigans where torpedo bats be makin' a splash, sendin' pitches flyin' like cannonballs! One pitcher, the crafty Matt Strahm of the Phillies, be callin' for a fairer game, suggestin' that if them bat-swingin' scallywags can use whatever makes their wooden swords sing, then why not let pitchers have a taste of that sticky magic too?In days yore, pitchers used pine tar to grip their treasures, but alas, the league put the kibosh on such trickery in 2021, claimin' it made 'em too fearsome! With the Yankees breakin' records like a ship in a storm, Strahm be callin' for freedom on the field—no more checkin' pitchers like they be thieves of the night.
Now, these torpedo bats be shaped like a bowling pin, givin' the players an edge like a cutlass in a brawl! Some say it be genius, others claim it be bush league—like a fine argument in a tavern, ye can't escape the chatter! So join the merriment and watch as the league battles it out, where every swing be a treasure and every pitch be a chance to plunder glory!