Arrr! Miller Gardner, lad of a Yankee star, met his fate by the devil's breath, say the scallywags!
2025-04-03
Arrr, mates! On the day of the Wednes, them officials in Costa Rica did declare that young Miller Gardner, a lad of fourteen summers, met his end not by sword nor cannon, but by the treacherous breath of carbon monoxide! Aye, even the air can be a scallywag!
Arrr, gather 'round, ye landlubbers! The tale be one of misfortune and woe, as we learn of the tragic fate of young Miller Gardner, scion of the famed New York Yankees player, Brett Gardner. This lad, a mere 14 summers old, met his untimely end whilst on a holiday in the fair lands of Costa Rica on the fateful day of March 21st.Initially, the wise men of the law suspected asphyxiation, but nay, that be ruled out swift as a cannonball! Next, they cast their suspicions on bad grub, but lo and behold, the true culprit was none other than the treacherous carbon monoxide! Aye, ‘tis a silent killer, lurking in the shadows, as confirmed by the Costa Rican Judicial Investigative Agency.
According to Director Zúñiga, the boy's blood was tested for the foul substance and found to have a saturation level of 64%, a most lethal dose indeed! The Gardners were stayin' at the Arenas Del Mar hotel, where whispers of contamination danced on the air, though the hotel denied such claims, swearing the rooms be safe as the captain's quarters.
The family, stricken with sorrow, declared that Miller passed in his slumber, leaving behind a gaping hole in their hearts. The lad loved his sports and adventure, and his infectious spirit shall be missed! So raise a tankard to young Miller, may he sail the seas of eternity, free from danger!