"Arrr, JD Vance be feelin' merry 'bout them tariffs, even on a scallywag's worst day, says Newsmax!"
2025-04-03
Arrr, matey! Vice President J.D. Vance be singin’ shanties 'bout tariffs, even as the stock market be sinkin’ like a cannonball! He be tellin’ Newsmax the Trump crew be feelin’ fine, claimin’ American farmers’ll be swimmin’ in doubloons, even while the Dow be takin’ a mighty plunge! Aye!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round, me hearties, for there be news from the high seas of politics! Vice President J.D. Vance, a bold buccaneer of the GOP, be singin' shanties 'bout tariffs, even as the stock market be sinkin' like a ship full o' lead cannonballs. Aye, on the fateful day of turmoil, the Dow Jones took a mighty tumble, droppin' a staggering 1,679 points, like a scallywag fallin' from the crow's nest!But fear not, fer Vance be claimin' that the Trump crew be "feelin' good" despite the chaos. In a chat with the landlubbers at Newsmax, he reassured a certain midwestern senator that American farmers will be the ones to plunder the treasure trove of rewards in the end. "Trust in the plan, matey!" he be sayin', as he hoisted his tankard high, celebratin' the glories of tariffs that seem to rattle the very timbers of Wall Street!
So let the stocks fall like cannonballs, for Vance be holdin' fast to his belief that the tides will turn in favor of the hardworking farmers. Aye, it be a jolly good jest, this whole hullabaloo of trade and tariffs, and we all be wonderin' if the treasure will ever wash ashore! Yarrr!