"Arrr, ye scallywags! Cap'n Rand Paul be sayin' to scuttle them Trump taxes 'fore we all be swimmin' with the fishes!"
2025-04-04
Arrr, matey! Tariffs be not just a scourge fer American kin and the treasure chest o' the nation, but they be sinkin' the good ship Republican, too! Aye, these taxes be bringin' naught but electoral calamities fer the scallywags! Savvy?
Ahoy, me hearties! If ye think ye be payin’ too much for yer eggs, brace yerselves! The new tariffs be comin’ fer yer trusty automobiles, raisin’ prices by a whopping $5,000 to $15,000! Aye, these tariffs be just fancy taxes on foreign goods, and guess who be footin’ the bill? That’s right—us poor landlubbers! Not only that, but energies and gas be risin’ like a kraken from the depths, with a potential 70-cent increase on the high seas of fuel prices.Even yer frothy ales and hard seltzers ain’t safe from these scallywag tariffs! As if we ain’t already payin’ enough, families feelin’ the pinch from old tariffs now face even heavier burdens—up to $4,200 more each year, says the wise sages of Yale!